Landscaping

Jazzy: Sometimes you just have to let nature take its course...
M: That's very zen- and unrelated- of you.
*sound of rushing water*
M: Did you leave the hose on?
Jazzy: No.
M: *looking out window* DID YOU DIG A TRENCH?
Jazzy: Oh. Yes.
M: Holy hell, that's meant to be a stream, isn't it?
Jazzy: Sometimes you have to help nature.
M: That's not natural!
Jazzy: Ssssh. You'll hurt the fishes' feelings.
M: You put fish in there?!
*grabs bucket and runs*

Unicorn meets Boyfriend 2

Jazzy: How would you feel if I called you Pinky?
Eric: Why would you do that?
Jazzy: We went to a petting zoo and I liked the name.
Eric: Maybe next time you'll be left there.
Jazzy: Calm down, Pinky.

Unicorn for PM

Jazzy: How do I enter next year?
M: Enter?
Jazzy: The election.
M: Umm. I'm not sure unicorns are eligible to run.
Jazzy: Of course I can run!
M: And with your police record...
Jazzy: So I can be a criminal but not a politician?
M: No, no, you can be both.
Jazzy: *nods*
M: Well, maybe not you.
Jazzy: We'll see.

ONE MONTH LATER

Jazzy: *starts Kickstarter campaign* And so if you back me for the next election, you can pick from a unicorn plushie or your dreams coming true.

Election preferences

M: Why're you cutting up the newspaper? It's not another nest is it?
Jazzy: No. I'm working out who to vote for.
M: How?
Jazzy: I'm finding pictures of all the candidates...
M: ...
Jazzy: And cutting them out...
M: ...
Jazzy: And ranking them in order of taste.
M: You're licking them like stamps? But why don't you just read the articles on their policies and-
Jazzy: *slurp*
M: Actually, is that 'The Sun'? Your way will work fine.

How do you vote?

Jazzy; So then you put the X on the paper?
M: Yes
Jazzy: And you hide it in a box?
M: We don't hide-
Jazzy: Like pirates.
M: No, for anonymity and security, not like pirates.
Jazzy: Well not in any of the cool ways.
M: What are the cool ways exactly?
Jazzy: What's the treasure?
M: It's not treasure. It's the democratic process and having your voice heard.
Jazzy: Exactly...

Unicorn and the meet-cute

Jazzy: So how did you two meet?
Eric: Well-
M: I veto that question.
Jazzy: It took three Garden Centre trips to get you a cactus.
M: Because you road-tested them by jousting and I-
Eric: We met speed-dating, actually.
Jazzy: Right, right. Small doses.

Changing the channel

M: Can we change the channel?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: Sorry, I'll change it. Where's the big remote?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: Ok, I'll look for it later. How was your day?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: You can't just keep doing that!
Jazzy: *shrugs*