Unicorn and the meet-cute

Jazzy: So how did you two meet?
Eric: Well-
M: I veto that question.
Jazzy: It took three Garden Centre trips to get you a cactus.
M: Because you road-tested them by jousting and I-
Eric: We met speed-dating, actually.
Jazzy: Right, right. Small doses.

Changing the channel

M: Can we change the channel?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: Sorry, I'll change it. Where's the big remote?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: Ok, I'll look for it later. How was your day?
Jazzy: *holds up hooves*
M: You can't just keep doing that!
Jazzy: *shrugs*

Glowing Part 2

M: So you're glowing because...?
Jazzy: I'm happy, of course.
M: Awwww, oh Jazzy. I'm so glad. I know it's been an adjustment for us both but I think we've finally settled into a routine and- wait, you've stopped glowing.
Jazzy: I'm out of ice cream.

Glowing Part 1

M: Did you forget to turn off the lights in the kitchen agai- whoa, you're glowing!
Jazzy: Unicorns can do that.
M: But...why?
Jazzy: Do I ask you why your knees make that creaky sound?
M: Yes. Except you asked me if I was Pinocchio.

Second warning

Police: Sorry to interrupt, but we're investigating a series of threatening notes left in the area.

Me: Oh god. 

Police: We believe it may just be a prank gone wrong.

Me: Oh?

Police: They all read “Tell me what you did last summer.”

Jazzy: And people were scared by that?

Police: Yes.

Jazzy: Hmm...I should've said please shouldn't I?

Police: …..

Me: …..

Jazzy: I was looking for holiday recommendations!

Police: Frankly, that is a baffling use of postcards. And I had my money on you. That'll be a fine and a warning, I'm afraid.

Me: *furious silence*

Jazzy: Come on! People normally can't shut up about holidays... I just don't like the actual talking.