Sister translation service: 'We're fighting because...'

• I asked a question about school. School is boring
• I asked a question about something we're not talking about.
• I asked why. Which is a step too far.
• I can't find certain clothes. She doesn't like the insinuation.
• She's wearing the top she didn't borrow.
• She's getting a rabbit. I'm surprised.
• The cat likes me better. (I’m not surprised.)
• She enters the room. I leave the room. These facts are unrelated.
• I used her name in a conversation. She does not approve.
• I wrote this list. (Ok, this one’s kind of understandable…)

Younger sister translation service

Let's go shopping.

You can drive, right?

You are so boring.

You are less cooperative than when I put the cat on a lead.

I'm going out.

I am going to walk to the edge of town/the skate park/until not even Google knows where I am.

I hate walking.

There's no signal here. Let's go inside instead.

It's not so much that she speaks an entirely different language- more that she really makes you work hard to talk. Like a personal trainer mixed with a ventriloquist.